that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
