how can u be prego again
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
