Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
