Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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