Where is the hickey?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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