I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
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Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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