You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize