Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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