plz talk dirty to me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
