absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
