dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
