I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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