no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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