When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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