are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
