he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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