so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
