I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize