Your face is a jimmy john
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's the barista slut.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
