Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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