please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
