just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize