I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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