i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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