a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
sex in a hospital.. check
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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