I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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