you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
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it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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