Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you had me at cake vodka
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My vagina is officially offended.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos