Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?

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  (609): why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album? http://tfl.nu/4xxo
  Replies (28) Good night (1015) Bad night (3693)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.

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  (305): The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service. http://tfl.nu/dlye
  Replies (89) Good night (11535) Bad night (904)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.

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  (802): You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises. http://tfl.nu/vxkf
  Replies (33) Good night (2381) Bad night (5243)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.

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  (480): There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks. http://tfl.nu/b0f1
  Replies (4) Good night (867) Bad night (3013)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"

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  (512): he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear" http://tfl.nu/1ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (1653) Bad night (688)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case

  (573): View more from Missouri

  WTF.

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  (719): That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case (573): WTF. http://tfl.nu/t6hg
  Replies (6) Good night (1574) Bad night (685)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.

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  (315): He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition. http://tfl.nu/pnv9
  Replies (8) Good night (1210) Bad night (606)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.

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  (770): Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance. http://tfl.nu/v36b
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (476)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.

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  (541): I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out. http://tfl.nu/0h9b
  Replies (1) Good night (775) Bad night (482)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....

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  (775): Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW.... http://tfl.nu/zpmo
  Replies (6) Good night (1364) Bad night (565)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.

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  (806): I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism. http://tfl.nu/hgk9
  Replies (3) Good night (806) Bad night (402)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!

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  (479): Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating! http://tfl.nu/g8qn
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (315)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.

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  (612): I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin. http://tfl.nu/dn4i
  Replies (1) Good night (387) Bad night (602)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old

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  (713): haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old http://tfl.nu/ipmn
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (433)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.

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  (+44): Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations. http://tfl.nu/aymh
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (242)

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