Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
