I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.