So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."