You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches