Plan B is the new Plan A
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.