All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.