I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
