i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
