I wish I could punch you in the face.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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