McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
