If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
