Sponge bath it is.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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