Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
