He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She's the barista slut.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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