i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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