What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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