In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You dont lie about slip and slides
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
