please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
