Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
