Sry I called you an 8
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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