can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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