jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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