My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
