I wanna passion pit in your ass
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
