he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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