We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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