I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My ATM looks so different sober.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize