You really coming over, don't trick.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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