no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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