I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
