This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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