i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
