Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
