My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
