jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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