you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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