Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You pole danced in your parka.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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