i don't like sucking hair
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
