im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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