Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
