Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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