I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
