Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well you can't waste a boner
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
